There’s been a stifling mini-heat wave here in the mid-Atlantic states, with temperatures yesterday and today up around 100 F, with heat indexes closer to 110 F due to the humidity (or, as I like to refer to it, “soupy crotchness”). By the way, thanks Florida! Now I can thank you for something other than erroneously pluralizing the word “chad.” For all those saying, “Yeah, but it’s been 110 F in Las Vegas for a while, without humidity!”, I humbly offer that it’s a dry heat, man. I mean, you can take a little stroll in 110 F at 20% relative humidity and never feel a thing until you realize you’re a walking four-piece fried chicken dinner. Mmm, chicken.
I stayed in a hotel in Phoenix once, many years ago — called the Crescent at the time, it had something to do with the Keating Five, but I’ll leave that to you and Google to remember for me. It was a four-star place, but I have no recollection of receiving any illicit funds during my stay there, Senator. Anyway, it turned out there was a great music shop specializing in electric basses in Phoenix, so I figured I’d walk there, especially since it was only about 45 blocks away, according to the only map I could find. And although it was 98 F outside, it was partly cloudy, a bit breezy, and felt quite comfortable.
I hear you already: “I hope you brought your sunscreen with you.” Well, yes, I did, and by “yes” I mean “no.” So, since I hadn’t realized that in that part of Phoenix, “one block” apparently meant a distance just shy of a mile and a half, I got to the store about two and a half hours later with a REALLY good tan, the nice lobster-y red kind. But there were some really nice basses there, so I had that going for me. In all honesty, I didn’t really get burnt badly, but I was smart enough to catch a cab back to the hotel.
But it was a dry heat, man.
So in any case, here it’s been more of a moist heat, the kind that doesn’t remind you quite as much of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies as it does putrid vegetation and stagnant water. Plus there’s the bonus insect life for good measure… I’ll take West Nile Vectors for 500, Alex!
Today though, a little after lunch — and we scooted back into the building just in time — we had a set of hellacious thunderstorm cells plow through the area, bringing a 20-degree temperature plunge and some much needed precipitation. My air conditioner gives thanks and praise to the weather gods! Sleeping tonight should be good.
The heat has made it impossible to concentrate on work at home, so my wife and I cooled off last night by vegetating with a fine film, The Last King of Scotland, featuring an amazing (and Oscar-winning) performance from Forest Whitaker as Idi Amin. The Ugandan locations provided a nice frame of reference for our own weather, by which I mean it looked hot enough to make us feel cooler. Highly recommended, with appropriate caution about some gruesome violence.
the a/c in my honda went out last summer, minutes after a tree limb / light pole / ginormous armadillo (can’t say for sure, it was dark) went into the right front wheel well. i fixed it later; by “fixed” i mean “tried real hard, to no avail” (hello, liberals). i’ve been driving without a/c for nearly 2 summers.
even with 4 windows down at 70 MPH, the 20 minute commute the past couple of days has had all the consistency of traveling through a vagina, without the concomitant pleasures.